im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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