Do you still have your period?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
