im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
