She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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