im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
