I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
