i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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