i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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