its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
