only you would photoshop your dick
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize