I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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