do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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