call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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