Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
