i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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