You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
