spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize