I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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