it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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