and you said cock pushups were impossible
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
