This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
