I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
