And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
