she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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