i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
