Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize