you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
