oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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