Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize