Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
