Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
