he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Who died my cat blue again?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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