Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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