More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
