My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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