I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize