those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Thank you for not boning my boss.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
