low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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