hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
