Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
