he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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