Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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