I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize