I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
