thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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