Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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