he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
