I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
