playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
