Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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