i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
