Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
