you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
