I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
