I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
