i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
