thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
