It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
