can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
