just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
