you traded sex for a burrito?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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