wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
